A Farewell Eulogy!
It is almost Christmas. These are the last few days leading to this symbolic holiday that represents the birth of the Savior of humanity, Lord Christ. Despite the somber economic realities of this year’s holiday, decorations are visible on the exterior of many homes; retailers had placed Christmas ornaments, signage, and garlands all over their stores; musical performances and holiday chants have been playing around town; and some individuals have been wearing Santa’s hat in order to express their festive mood and hoping to spread the holiday vibes to others.
It is on this day that I joined the multitude of people in the ritualistic gift buying, so that the recipients can recognize such gifts as a token of our love and affection. While at the cash register, I received a telephone call on my mobile phone, but I didn’t recognize the calling number. When I answered it, it turned out to be a young lady that I have known since she was about 6 years of age and who is the daughter of a friend and a coworker of mine. She called to let me know that her father had passed away yesterday! I was very sad and fully realized that no matter what words of comfort I utter, they will not lessen the sadness she felt for the loss of a man responsible for her existence.
My journey with this man began about 15 years ago, first as a client, and then later on as an employee. He had some medical issues and had to close down his business and go on disability. One day he visited me and said to me that he is going crazy at home and asked me for a part time job and I accommodated him. Some people around me were surprised at me for hiring him, because he was at times a difficult man to get along with, yet despite it all, deep down in my soul I must have sensed his decency. Very few people could understand my relationship with him. Heck, I don’t even understand it myself!
He was of Turkish descent and it happened to be that my grandparents from both sides of the family were also Turkish, so when we find ourselves in upsetting situations, we would joke about it and say to each other that it was the work of our “angry Turkish genes.” At times, we would jokingly call each other “a damn Turk.” When his daughter and son were still children, he used to bring them to our office pizza parties. Now his daughter is a fine adult and his son is about to enter college. He used to visit his family in Turkey almost every year and he would always bring me something back—whether it is Turkish delights or a souvenir of some sort. He made his last journey to Turkey several months ago to visit his ailing mother. Little that he knew that it is she who bid him farewell for the last time. It is so difficult when a parent outlives his/her own child.
He took on cycling and engaged in this sport regularly. A little over a year and a half ago, I received a phone call from a family friend informing me that he just had a cycling accident and that he is in intensive care. He had suffered head injuries and the doctors had to operate on him. His doctors placed him in a coma for about 10 days in order to help reduce the brain swelling and speed the recovery. During this same period, my marriage was about to end and I had to go overseas on a business trip with the loss of a true love and the possible loss of a friend. It was the most miserable period of my life. After my return home, I was kept abreast of his condition and one day he showed up at work wearing a special protective helmet. He was worried that he would lose his job and I had to assure him that his job would still be waiting for him and all he needed to worry about is getting better. He asked me about the well being of my wife and I had to tell him that my marriage was over. He was so horribly sad for me in contrast to him being extremely happy for me back when I informed him that I just took the oath of marriage in front of God. I guess one true measure of a genuine friendship is the feeling of happiness for the happiness of a friend and sadness for the sadness of a friend. He felt my sadness and unfortunately, his marriage fell apart soon after and I felt his pain and shared with his sadness. Many were the times that we would briefly chat about our situations and comfort each other.
Last month he had complained about some external bleeding from a scar left from the operation and sought the advice of his doctors, who recommended that he undergo a surgery to replace some of the hardware they placed inside his skull during the first operation. He asked me to give him a ride to the hospital and I did. It was a few days before Thanksgiving Day and I felt real bad for him and his family. On the way we chatted a bit and when I dropped him off I wished him the best. I was about to drive off when he stopped me and gave me a CD that he just created with a mix of some music that he liked. Deep down in my heart I felt that it may be the last time I see him, nonetheless, I needed to be positive and hope that he would be fine.
I called his cell phone several days after the Thanksgiving holiday and left him a message saying that I am checking on him and hope that he is getting better. I received a phone call about two weeks ago from his family friend saying that he had complications from the operation, however, he is showing improvement but it will be a long recuperating period. I asked this friend to keep me informed with his situation. Earlier this week and while addressing my Christmas cards, I wrote him a brief message wishing him good health. Over the past few days I’ve been wondering about his situation and mentioned that to one other coworker. I guess today was the day that my wondering about him from the physical sense came to an end. I will always wonder about his Spiritual wellbeing. I raised a prayer to my Maker asking Him to flood my friend with His infinite Mercy and to help him.
I bid you farewell, my dear friend. May you find the peace and happiness you sought in this life, be present in your new life somewhere in this vast universe.
Godspeed,
Mounir Murad
December 21, 2008
It is on this day that I joined the multitude of people in the ritualistic gift buying, so that the recipients can recognize such gifts as a token of our love and affection. While at the cash register, I received a telephone call on my mobile phone, but I didn’t recognize the calling number. When I answered it, it turned out to be a young lady that I have known since she was about 6 years of age and who is the daughter of a friend and a coworker of mine. She called to let me know that her father had passed away yesterday! I was very sad and fully realized that no matter what words of comfort I utter, they will not lessen the sadness she felt for the loss of a man responsible for her existence.
My journey with this man began about 15 years ago, first as a client, and then later on as an employee. He had some medical issues and had to close down his business and go on disability. One day he visited me and said to me that he is going crazy at home and asked me for a part time job and I accommodated him. Some people around me were surprised at me for hiring him, because he was at times a difficult man to get along with, yet despite it all, deep down in my soul I must have sensed his decency. Very few people could understand my relationship with him. Heck, I don’t even understand it myself!
He was of Turkish descent and it happened to be that my grandparents from both sides of the family were also Turkish, so when we find ourselves in upsetting situations, we would joke about it and say to each other that it was the work of our “angry Turkish genes.” At times, we would jokingly call each other “a damn Turk.” When his daughter and son were still children, he used to bring them to our office pizza parties. Now his daughter is a fine adult and his son is about to enter college. He used to visit his family in Turkey almost every year and he would always bring me something back—whether it is Turkish delights or a souvenir of some sort. He made his last journey to Turkey several months ago to visit his ailing mother. Little that he knew that it is she who bid him farewell for the last time. It is so difficult when a parent outlives his/her own child.
He took on cycling and engaged in this sport regularly. A little over a year and a half ago, I received a phone call from a family friend informing me that he just had a cycling accident and that he is in intensive care. He had suffered head injuries and the doctors had to operate on him. His doctors placed him in a coma for about 10 days in order to help reduce the brain swelling and speed the recovery. During this same period, my marriage was about to end and I had to go overseas on a business trip with the loss of a true love and the possible loss of a friend. It was the most miserable period of my life. After my return home, I was kept abreast of his condition and one day he showed up at work wearing a special protective helmet. He was worried that he would lose his job and I had to assure him that his job would still be waiting for him and all he needed to worry about is getting better. He asked me about the well being of my wife and I had to tell him that my marriage was over. He was so horribly sad for me in contrast to him being extremely happy for me back when I informed him that I just took the oath of marriage in front of God. I guess one true measure of a genuine friendship is the feeling of happiness for the happiness of a friend and sadness for the sadness of a friend. He felt my sadness and unfortunately, his marriage fell apart soon after and I felt his pain and shared with his sadness. Many were the times that we would briefly chat about our situations and comfort each other.
Last month he had complained about some external bleeding from a scar left from the operation and sought the advice of his doctors, who recommended that he undergo a surgery to replace some of the hardware they placed inside his skull during the first operation. He asked me to give him a ride to the hospital and I did. It was a few days before Thanksgiving Day and I felt real bad for him and his family. On the way we chatted a bit and when I dropped him off I wished him the best. I was about to drive off when he stopped me and gave me a CD that he just created with a mix of some music that he liked. Deep down in my heart I felt that it may be the last time I see him, nonetheless, I needed to be positive and hope that he would be fine.
I called his cell phone several days after the Thanksgiving holiday and left him a message saying that I am checking on him and hope that he is getting better. I received a phone call about two weeks ago from his family friend saying that he had complications from the operation, however, he is showing improvement but it will be a long recuperating period. I asked this friend to keep me informed with his situation. Earlier this week and while addressing my Christmas cards, I wrote him a brief message wishing him good health. Over the past few days I’ve been wondering about his situation and mentioned that to one other coworker. I guess today was the day that my wondering about him from the physical sense came to an end. I will always wonder about his Spiritual wellbeing. I raised a prayer to my Maker asking Him to flood my friend with His infinite Mercy and to help him.
I bid you farewell, my dear friend. May you find the peace and happiness you sought in this life, be present in your new life somewhere in this vast universe.
Godspeed,
Mounir Murad
December 21, 2008
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